The Top 10 Sure Tell Signs that your Steroid Dealer is a Douche Bag

Part 1

 The Truth…Yea many times its hard to swallow but the reality is that I will bring you nothing but! I know this will rustle a lot of feathers for people in this industry but most likely it will be just those that can’t deal with the fact that they don’t like to hear what the dark reality is. This month I am going to let you in on some tips that will be as precious as gold. Well for those of you who are using performance enhancing drugs and most likely buying them from a local dealer, this column will be very valuable for both the newbie looking for his first score as well as the veterans. Now what you are about to read will make you laugh because I am sure maybe even your current dealer will be described in detail here. The fact is steroid dealers today are not what they used to be 20 years ago and the reality is their quality ranking on the social scale just keeps getting lower and lower. So let’s take a look at some of the finer points you need to remember when you are looking or currently dealing with your source.

 The Heat Score

 Oh yea I am sure you have seen these cluster fucks. These are the guys that parade around the gym like they are “The Gift” to all mankind. Yes they walk around with arrogance as if they just discovered a cure for Cancer. Now when it comes to discretion these ass clowns do not possess even an ounce of it. They talk openly about steroid stacks and prices in the change rooms on their cell phone (did these retards ever hear of a phone tap) like they were sharing Betty Crocker recipes with grandma.

 Next they like everyone to know on social media that they love steroids and can get whatever you need. I have seen screen names for their Facebook or even on BBM as Juice King or Steroid Master. Ok first off it makes you look like a compete idiot and secondly do you not know these are all monitored? It only takes law enforcement about two hours to get a warrant signed by a judge. It’s not too hard to track an IP address. Now if you think your BBM or encrypted email is safe think again. They are not NSA proof as you may think, and if they hacked into the French Prime Minister’s personal calls, then believe me they can find whatever they want on you with ease.

 The picture only gets better when its time to place an order. When you meet up with them to do a pick up, these guys drive up with their fire engine Red Hummer with spinning rims, and blaring Eminem pounding at 100 decibels to the desired spot. MMM… when is the last time a personal trainer for a local gym chain gets paid enough to drive around a $70,000 car? Yea that $12 an hour job that you work 3 nights per week surely covered the extravagant lifestyle you live. Now that’s keeping a low profile. Oh yea nothing like not drawing attention to law enforcement with all that bling and noise when your driving around with a truck full of gear. Yea there’s not too much grey matter floating around in these guys’ heads that is for sure. So if your current hook up is like this ass tard I described its better to look for another one as he will just get you pinched along with himself because he possess the intellect of a turtle.

 The Master Chemist

 These guys are amazing. It’s not enough to let everyone know that they are some big bad steroid dealer. Whoooo…that’s so scary! But these morons have to go one step even further in their level of stupidity. Yes these are the smart guys that order some raw materials (like 30 grams of Test Enanthate) from China and all of a sudden think they are Tony Montana. Yep they Google a few steroid recipes on the net or from some forum and then all of a sudden think they have a PHD in Chemistry from Yale.

 Hell even many of them are their own dirty basement lab and even let everyone know how they are some chemical mastermind…give me a break. They just have to tell everyone that they have their own lab and come up with more fairy tales than a fucking Disney production. The stupid newbies eat it up like Skittles, but for anyone in the know, they realize this guy is full of shit. The reality is he doesn’t have a lab or a master’s degree in chemistry. He just brews it up on his stove right right next to that pot of macaroni and cheese he had for dinner. Then without filtering it or even washing his hands for that matter pours it into a bottle and crimps it. Wow now that’s chemistry at its finest!

 If these guys haven’t impressed you yet with how stupid they can be let’s take a look even further into what they can do to help you lose even more respect for them. They are as stupid to go around and name their steroid lab something super close to their actual first or last name. I have seen this over and over and it blows my mind why they are looking for this type of recognition. So here Peter Stone master chemist now calls his brand of steroids Stone Labs…Duuuh can you make it any easier for law enforcement stick their foot up your ass you dumb fuck.

 He Doesn’t Use what He Sells

 I love these guys and they are more common than you think. Of course these usually are the high level competitors or guys that super jacked. I have seen this a million times and you should be aware of this tactic. This is how it works. Johnny Jerkoff here walks around at 260 pounds lean and mean. He know what brands of steroids currently floating around the market are good and what are nothing more than olive oil and some bacteria thrown in for good measure. You see Johnny likes to save all the good stuff for himself because he is a greedy narcissistic fuck! He will spend top dollar on what he injects into his body but when it comes to you he could give a rats ass what you get. He would sell you anything as long as he makes a buck off you.

 The newbie is the biggest fool when it comes to this. Norman Newbie finds the biggest meathead in the gym and decides to approach him for a hookup. Johnny realizes that Norman knows nothing about gear and decides to sell him some shit he knows is fake or total garbage. Since Johnny is so big then he must be selling the best steroids right? Wrong…Johnny uses the good stuff while he pawns the shit off on you the unsuspecting idiot that fell into his trap.

 Guys like Johnny are usually popular as he may be the local champ who competes or is supposedly the guy in the know. But the sad reality is Johnny couldn’t give two fucks that you aren’t getting results. When you tell him you don’t feel anything and haven’t gained a pound after 6 weeks he will tell you that you don’t know how to train because he is using the same stuff and its working for him. Stay away from these scumbags and don’t get lured into their bullshit. Remember not all that glitters is gold and dealers like Johnny are sacks of shit looking to make you his next mark!

 Everything is the Same Price

 This refers to the low life’s that are only once again out to make a quick buck off those that have no knowledge when it comes to steroids. You see different steroids have different price points; it’s like buying a car. You can’t buy a Mercedes S class for the same price as a Honda Civic so why would you be able to buy a cheap drug like Test Propionate and a super expensive drug like Primobolan for the same price. The truth is you can’t! Now let’s take a look at this from another angle. If you went to a local narcotics dealer and after welcoming you into his lovely abode, lets you know that a gram of coke, a gram of weed, a gram of meth, and a gram of MDMA are all 10 bucks each. Wouldn’t that make you think something is off? This sounds so stupid when I put it into these terms but when it comes to steroids people don’t understand. These steroid dealers are a real class act. They’ ll let you know they have Sustanon, Test Cypionate, Trenbolone Acetate, Primobolan, Deca, and EQ all for 70 bucks a bottle. What? Now the only way for that to be financially viable for this dealer and still make money is the fact that there is Testosterone in every bottle. But he is so kind to print off a different label for each one. This way everything you use is just Testosterone. You got to love these shit bags.

 Selling Brands that are out of Business

 This one really irritates me like no other. Back in the day there were some really good labs coming out of Mexico and Thailand. They made high dosed gear; it was clean, and readily available. Well that soon came to a screeching halt when law enforcement raided the biggest labs in Mexico in 2004 and Thai operations in 2006. Quality Vet, Syd Group, Pet Pharma, Denkal are a few good companies that were taken down in Operation Gear Grinder in the early 2000’s. So why is it in 2014 I am still seeing this stuff floating around. Anyone that has even a bit of understanding will tell his dealer to shove it up his ass because you are not some idiot that is going to buy a brand that has not been in business for over a decade. The same thing goes for British Dragon, which was a reputable company that got shut down in 2006. If I see one more Mexican or Thai knock off I am going to lose it especially with those whack jobs that argue with me and tell me its real.

 The reality is that some loser is making his bathtub brew and since he lacks even the IQ of the ass monkey in the first part of this article that puts his name on the lab, he just copies a well-known lab that is no longer in production. Some guys will argue with me and tell me now its set up in China, but the truth is its not. Most of these kingpins from that era are locked up and won’t see the light of day for quite a while. Its just bathtub brew with a guy that knows someone at a print shop and can knock off labels from a bottle he kept over from that time period. If I go and take the hood ornament off a Lamborghini and attach it on top of a beaten down 1986 Ford, it doesn’t make it a Lambo and this is exactly what these thieves are doing to unsuspected buyers. Don’t let these ass wipes fool you into buying garbage with a gold lining. They are liars and if you deal with one of these unscrupulous fucks walk the other way because you will be glad you did.

 Time to Wrap Up

 So this wraps Part 1 of this series and I am sure you laughed as much reading this as I did writing it. The sad fact is most likely everyone reading this that has dabbled into the dark side of pharmaceutical enhancement has bumped into at least one of the above fuck wads that I mentioned. Like I said before and I will say it again, if this is the type of people you deal with for your hook up then get prepared to get ripped off, get a major health issue or infection, or even worse find yourself behind bars because your chosen source is a loose cannon!

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